Color Me a Darker Shade Today

Most people will probably disagree with everything I will be saying, but this is my blog and I promised to write only truth in it. Everyone has been talking about the Elementary school shooting that happened yesterday. How 20 children and 6 adults were murdered for seemingly no purpose. The media has made almost a celebrity out of the killer who was really only a child himself at 20 years old. I don't think he should be seen in that light yet my heart aches for him. The children were all innocent and as someone who believes in eternity and heaven, I fully believe those little ones are safely in peace now. But, my heart cries to imagine the eternity of that young man who make such a heart breaking last choice for his life. I long to sit with him and listen to whatever was on his heart that eventually led to him ending his life by taking so many innocent ones. We, as humans, like to think of ourselves in a better light than we probably should. We like to say that we are decent people because although we might cheat in small ways such as by "small lies" or on our taxes since "it is really our money anyway" or since we don't literally kill people we only hate others who we deem deserve that hate then we are really pretty okay people. Well, we aren't. Because we don't get to determine our level of goodness. How could we? By what measure are we using? Does everyone get the same measurement? We, as fallen creatures are incapable of determining what we deserve. By God's standards of justice we completely fall short every time. We murder people in our hearts. We destroy covenants that we make. We lie if it helps us, cheat if it is to our advantage, are unloving with our words and our actions. And we find all of these things to be okay as long as we don't rape or murder. Those two things seem to be deemed the worst of the worst although even then we cannot seem to agree which is a bigger offense. To scar another's life or destroy it? And in which cases in murder okay? The murder of an unborn child? War? "Justified" murder to get revenge? I will never condone what this young man did, but my heart breaks for him and his family just the same as for the victims. We do not get to play judge or God with him. And until we learn to live as the one true judge Jesus did and learn to listen to what people have to say without biased condemnation, murders and tragedies like this will become the norm.