Color Me Shiny.

Yesterday Patrick, Kayla, and i went ice skating. On the way back i couldn't help, but notice all of the bill boards and advertisements on the side of the road. We had a destination:Home, yet every 10 feet there was a sign trying every witty slogan and eye catching logo they could to get us sidetrack from our purpose. I started to think how life can be like that. We have a destination:Heaven and we have a purpose:Worship and Sharing our Jesus, yet every 5 minutes we find some TV show, Internet site, gossip fest, car, or relationship trying every brand name pair of jeans and job promotion to get us distracted from where we are supposed to be going? It is a little overwhelming. I know our destination is exciting and it should be the easiest thing in the world to just keep our eyes there, or is it? Have you ever wanted to be back home after a visit so badly and you think nothing is going to get in your way and then you are overwhelmed by all of these distractions and you think, "well i do need a drink for the rest of the trip", or "A bathroom break might be a good idea.." The next thing you know you have invested all of your trip into the distractions and you forget why you were in such a hurry to get to your destination. I want to be undistracted. I want to be focused. I want to remember that i am on the Journey and i am not home yet. I want to remember. We need to remember. Don't be distracted by the shiny things.

Bubble Gum Pink.

Last night was so much fun. Patrick, Kayla, and i had a movie night at my house. We haven't done that in forever. We watched Megamind(the best movie i have seen in a while), and The Illusionist(one of my old favorites). We made a quick trip to McDonalds in between, during which i lost my keys in Kayla's car and got hyper on coffee. Haha what a night! Friendships have become so valuable to me lately. I will miss times like these when i am gone, but i look forward to creating some memories with my brother soon. God is so good!

If Hurt had a Color.

I seriously want to smack my head against a wall every time my heart reacts to you. It has to hurt a lot less.

Maroon.

I am a little more than frustrated right now. I have to get rid of almost everything i own before i can move in with my brother. I cannot take any furniture except my mattress and i am finding that i will not be able to bring very little else beyond clothes. I am wondering where all of this is going to leave me after he moves and i find somewhere else to move on to. Of course the ideal is to come back here. Or is it? I don't know anymore. I have one longing in my heart and less than 1% chance of it ever being fulfilled. Part of me thinks getting back to the basics is exactly the thing i need to be doing right now. Like in every other part of my life, my house has become cluttered with "things" i supposedly "need". I have become so emotionally attached to petty materialistic things like books and old, favorite blankets just because i have had them for years. Should it really be this hard to let such insignificant things go? No wonder if it hard to let other bigger things in my life go when i can't part with a book i read when i was 7 or a DVD collection i keep because i love the main actor in it. I am appalled at my devotion to these things. I have carried them from house to house, faithfully keeping track of them and lovingly giving them places of honor. I treat my possessions with more love and respect than i have treated people. I started off this blog frustrated at having to part with my possessions and now i end it feeling ashamed at how tightly i have held on to them. I can't believe such temporary pleasures have captivated me so easily while hurts of others and their needs look me straight in the face everyday and yet i can so easily turn away from them. How can this be? I am going to see just how little i can travel with. I am going to see which things i truly consider the things i feel i can't live without. I have a feeling i am going to learn a lot about myself. I have a feeling i might not like what i find.

Spice.

Not sure why i named this one Spice except i am hungry so food is on my mind and spice is a color or at least a shade that sounds like food. I am always hungry these days. It is just like when i first moved here and i lost so much weight because i was too poor to eat. I don't think i have lost much weight recently thankfully. Of course, that is only because Chris feeds me almost daily. Poor guy, didn't know what he was getting into when he befriended me. Life is just...more than i want to get into on this blog. Once things start getting personal it is time to move onto a more private blog.

The color of anticipation.

I officially turned in my notice today. In 60 days new apartment or not i will have to leave. Even though i don't have a definite place to stay i am excited. I have a huge love for adventure and the unknown. Life seems to be headed towards exciting.

Rust.

So far from there. Too close to here. Wherever that is. How do i get back? Do i even want to?